Felicity's Submission

Abstract:

Although some may find it unorthodox, the author decided that the format of a scientific journal would be the most rigourous and fair way to enact a methodology to prove a personal hypothesis, that her sexual development lagged far behind her educational and career progression. The investigation follows two strands of experimentation:

1) To establish in which ways the author has a psychological disadvantage when it comes to issues of sexuality.

2) To trial and measure the efficacy of different experiences in the reversal of the authors deficiencies of sexuality.

Author:

Dr. Felicity Klahan-Citron PHD. Senior research assistant in the Microsystems Technology Office (MTO) at the Defence Advanced Research Projects Agency (DARPA)

Embargo:

That this journal is being kept on a laptop totally isolated from any network connections should be an indication of the obvious, that this work should be considered indefinitely embargoed and not to be released for publication.

Introduction:

This study is already unique among psychological studies for the following reasons.

The sample size is a single individual.

The author and subject of the experiment are one and the same.

The author has no formal training in psychology.

The author will not be citing academic journals as they have no desire to become an expert on psychology just to prove a single self-contained hypothesis.

Usually each experiment (methodology followed by data and conclusion) forms their own paper. For simplicity the author will have multiple experiments following on from one another within this single paper.

Usually individual case notes are quoted in full in the appendix while the author's interpretation is included in the body text of the journal. In some parts these are one and the same, as such the author at their discretion has opted for directly transcribing audio recordings of her experiences.

The subject is, at least in the author's opinion, exceptionally intelligent. In scientific studies, she has been at the top of every class she has participated in since the beginning of her memory. After becoming the youngest ever winner of the American National Science Fair aged 14, she was offered a full scholarship to Harvard to major in Computer Science with a minor in Quantum Physics. She graduated Suma Kum Laude, completed a postdoctoral thesis on emerging threats to cybersecurity that was widely published and noticed by the hiring team at DARPA who gave her the job she has now had for 4 years.

The physical attributes of our subject are as follows-

Age: 29

Height: 155cm

Weight: 54.5kg

Ethnicity: mixed white European and Thai.

Hair colour: black

Eye colour: green

Bra size: 32/A

Distinguishing features: always wears large framed glasses; moles located on left hip, upper right torso, and two just to the left of belly button; often described as a "little sister type" which subject interprets as small and lacking any sexual allure.

Subject volunteered for experimentation after a distressing sexual encounter, she had seduced a man and taken him back to his house for sex. This in itself was a more unique occurrence than ideal so the subject was excited. As she began to engage in sexual activity, the man in question decided to play pornographic movies on his TV. The man reassured the subject that this is a regular occurrence among sexual partners (subsequent research confirms it is a known phenomenon) but at the time, subject considered it unusual enough that she became uncomfortable and terminated the sexual interaction. This the need for further investigation into sexual desires.

1st experiment:

Methodology:

The author downloaded a list of Paraphilias, removed results either illegal or focussed on activities unable to be performed on/by female subjects, and began matching them up to the highest rated pornographic videos in those sections to create a playlist of different fetishes. Subject's pupil dilation, perspiration rates and heart rate will be measured throughout each video. There will be control videos for neutral (videos of lawns being mowed), excitement (a fight scene from subject's favourite action movie) and disgust (surgery to remove a parasite inside a human eye) to calibrate measurements, however the neutral videos will also be shown between each pornographic video to prevent latent feelings about one fetish contaminating data from other fetishes. Subject was hesitantly excited about a 5 hour session watching various pornographic movies.

Data:

Full data to be published in the appendix but the summary is as follows:

Subject's data matched neutrality for fetishes that focussed on non-sexual body parts (such as feet or armpits), male and female homosexuality, and different categorisations of male sexual partners.

Subject's data matched disgust for excretions, fetishes surrounding the making of the subject dirty, Antep Bayan Escort direct physical harm to subject, and fetishes associated with family members.

Subject's data exceeded excitement thresholds for fetishes regarding humiliation, loss of status, public exposure, and risk.

Supplemental note on methodology, no objective measure was put in place to record vaginal excretions, but subject reports that her underwear was thoroughly moist during the videos listed as exceeding excitement thresholds.

Conclusion:

Some psychological work posits fetishes as an indulgence that can be used to process and rebel against the public face of an individual's personality. It certainly makes intuitive sense that one as accomplished as the subject would feel intrigue at an arena where she is not in a dominant position, where status and Foucaultian notions of informational power are removed and so she finds herself powerless.

Further study should now be conducted on the effect of the subject on indulging such fetishes rather than just observing their indulgence.

2nd Experiment:

Introduction:

Author acknowledges that the initial experiment could indicate a paraphilia for being placed within the situations depicted or for watching others in that situation. Practical experimentation required to confirm anecdotal evidence that the subject wishes to personally indulge the fetishes displayed.

Methodology:

Subject has a nightly routine of taking out her rubbish to the bins located at the bottom of her front garden. The author intends to subvert this for the sake of experimentation. Subject will take out the bins in incrementally less clothing over a four day period (Monday to Thursday), data will be recorded through subject interviews, average heart rate, and thermal imaging reading subject's core temperature throughout the experiment (experiment takes place during autumn months where without external factors you would expect a core temperature to drop significantly.) House is located in a quiet cul de sac with only 15 other houses on the street so the chance of being witnessed in exposure is minimal.

Data:

"Day one debrief. Today I went to the bottom of my front garden at 11:24pm wearing a short skirt and no knickers. I was not exposing myself but the thought that one errant breeze could lift my skirt was certainly in the forefront of my mind, heart rate at 106bpm, average temperature at 37.5°C. Qualitatively I can report that I have enjoyed this experience and am looking forward to tomorrow."

"Day two debrief. Today I took the bins out at 11:13pm wearing a matching set of black knickers and bra. Although still not at a level of exposure that would be censored on a television show, I was at a level where, had anyone been walking past my house at the time, they would have been aware I was in a sexual level of undress. Heart rate at 148 bpm and core temperature at 37.9°C. Later planned experiments make measuring vagina wetness impractical, but my underwear is soaked from my excitement. Despite mild trepidation, I am still looking forward to tomorrow.

"Day three debrief. Today I took out the bins at 10:23pm. The earlier time was to account for my desensitisation to risk. I was wearing a light dressing gown with nothing underneath, the belt had been removed from the dressing gown so while I was carrying out rubbish bins I could not hold it closed and for the first time I was directly exposing my sexual parts. Once I had taken out the bins I decided to open the gown wide and flash the street before returning to my house. Heart rate 152bpm, core temperature 38.6°C. Excitement has continued to build after the experiment at the thoughts of what I have agreed to do tomorrow."

"Day four debrief. Today at 10:58pm I left my house without any clothes on, I walked to where my front garden met the street and looked out at the world totally naked. I did not need measurements to know I was glowing hot and my heart was beating out of my chest, but for the sake of objectivity, heart rate 159bpm, core temperature 38.5°C. Once the bins had been filled I even touched myself a little before running back into my house. An intensely enjoyable experience that I will be reliving in my mind for a long time."

"Day five debrief. This isn't a mistake, I decided to extend the experiment for an additional day to cover a methodological shortcoming I discovered last night while reliving my experience. Although the methodology covered public exposure and risk, humiliation and lost status vectors were tangential to the experiment. So I decided at 11:22pm today to take the bins wearing nothing but my DARPA nametag, a makeshift gag made out of the knickers I wore today and a scarf tied around my face, and the word "whore" written with lipstick across my torso in big letters. This ensured that I was humiliated, exposed, and if anyone saw me they would know how important I am outside of my sexual experimentation. Heart rate 160bpm, core temperature 38.9°C, but my mind willing for someone to see me and pussy drooling with excitement can tell you far more than those measurements."

Conclusion:

The author is confident that the data thoroughly proves the hypothesis that the subject enjoys being subjected to the paraphilia experiences rather than wishing them on others. That the subject extended and elaborated on the experiment parameters demonstrates a desire for further experimentation that the author wishes to act upon immediately. Improvements should include a new location as the subject was upset that no passersby featured during her experimentation.

3rd experiment:

Introduction:

Subject reports beginning to indulge in sexual experiences that do not fit into the experimental framework laid out, these include:

A dramatic increase in the consumption of online pornographic videos.

Wearing more revealing outfits at work, often without underwear.

Masturbating in toilet cubicles at work, while leaving the cubical door unlocked.

Taking the bins out naked becoming a recurring ritual.

Author feels that in order to contain and control a possibly disruptive spiral into fetishistic indulgence, more diligent experimentation is needed. The following experiment is designed to gauge future risk parameters by measuring the effect of a sexualised environment on the subject's ability to complete tasks.

Methodology:

Subject's current work project involves testing security against on site incursions at a government facility being built in a remote location. Subject has gotten clearance from supervisor to attempt hacks on remote terminals on the outskirts of the facility (located within a wooded area). Using these terminals, subject will shut down the CCTV and motion sensors. After the shutdown occurs, subject will have to make her way to the security room to restore security, passing three different locked doors on the way, (one requiring key-card entry, one requiring a passcode, and one requiring an iris scan.)

On the first day, for control, the subject will perform this task without any variables. On the second day the subject will perform the task naked. The difference in the timing plus 10% for margin of error will inform future experiments' time parameters.

Although the facility is not completed (and so not at a security detail that it would usually have), there is a series of security agents as well as several workers on site to be avoided. Subject will have access to tracking device 1G652, colloquially known as the Marauders Map (the author believes this is in reference to a children's book). Device scans for mobile and radio signals and triangulates them on a map relative to the user's position. With everyone having mobile phones and the security detail having constant radio contact, this will give subject a real time feed of the proximity of nearby individuals, both as a way to minimise risk but also to allow her to do this experiment at all considering the amount of people on site.

Subject will also have access to a remote microphone taped to her cheek to live record qualitative data throughout the experiment and to mark beginning and end times for later time measurements.

Data:

"Live recording of subject, Wednesday 4th December, 12:06pm. So I completed this task yesterday, it took 15 minutes 42 seconds to walk from this terminal to the main security room. For today I am about to shut off the CCTV cameras and motion sensors, I will then strip and begin the timer once I am naked.

Initial thoughts, doing this experiment in broad daylight was a factor I did not anticipate heightening my excitement. I have chosen this time as most of the on site staff should be at lunch but there is an undeniable risk going forward."



"Alright, the security system is down, time for the most exciting part."



"Oh my God I'm now naked. I have stuffed my clothes into my satchel which I will be leaving behind as I have left a change of clothes in the security room. I am just waiting for the 1G652 device to start up, something I should have done before stripping, but that gives me time to share my observations before I am on a timer. My body is covered in goosebumps, I can imagine from a mix of excitement and cold weather. My vagina is so moist it is on the verge of dripping, and I have an almost uncontrollable urge to suspend the experiment in order to masturbate. Beforehand I had a route planned out in my head, but I feel this fog of eroticism eroding at my higher functions, this will impede..."



"Ah, the 1G652 has warmed up. Eek... Ahem, experiment will begin on my mark. Mark. I am now leaving behind my clothes, my legs are shaking with excitement that is sure to slow my pace. I am walking towards the building, currently the external walls have been completed and the wall I am walking towards doesn't have windows so there is no chance of being seen by the several people the 1G652 identities as just on the other side of that wall. I am reaching the perimeter of the wooded area, for security reasons there is about 100m of clear concrete floor with no obstructions between the woods and the building. My overwhelming urge is to run that gap but that would make the timings of the experiment less valid, so I plan to walk the gap."



"Fucking hell, I took a couple of steps before noticing that one of the dots on the 1G652 was heading directly towards me. I dashed back into the treeline to avoid being seen by a guard on patrol. He is now heading towards the canteen so must be doing a final sweep before lunch. I am now approaching the door... shit."



"Shit, shit, shit. I forgot my key card, it's back with my clothes."



"OK, I think we can call that experiment a false start, I am now wearing my key card on a lanyard around my neck and will begin the experiment again on my mark. Mark."



"The false start has shaken my confidence, which I would say is beneficial to the methodology but I do notice how I am walking faster than before which could cause problems down the line if I use these time calculations to ratio time limits in future experiments. Nonetheless I am naked and exposed and don't plan on staying so for long. I am now approaching the building once again. No nearby people so this shouldn't be a problem.



"[Whispering] I'm now indoors, less ambient noise and more dead ends means I am more at risk of discovery and so the butterflies in my stomach intensify. Even though I trust the 1G652, I am still keeping my eyes and ears peeled, my mind racing with marginal possibilities such as what if a worker forgot their phone and I blindly walk into them. I admit that the prospect of being seen fills me with a giddy excitement, but I am aware that rush would be short term and my higher functions are alluding to the long term harms that would cause.

I am now approaching the stairwell, the area I would consider it the biggest risk. 1G652 indicates stairs currently in use so I'm going to hide in these toilets until the all clear.



OK, so the stairwell consists of floating steps tracing the sides of a large central area, once in there I will be very visible from multiple floors, every noise I make will echo, and each door out of the stairwell requires a different passcode. As the passcodes are given out on a need to know basis, I only have the ability to open the doors on the ground and third floor.

God I'm so nervous, but the 1G652 is saying the stairway is clear so I have to go now.



"[Echoing] I'm now in the stairway, I really want to run up the stairs but I know I shouldn't so I am walking as calmly as I can. I have noticed that in stressful situations such as this one I firmly clasp my buttocks, I have seen other women in videos clasping their chest but I'm not as busty as they are so that tactile calming can only come from one place. One thing to note is when I clasp my buttcheeks I am leaving my front fully exposed and if anyone were to see me from behind they would get a clear view of my anus. This thought makes me clutch my buttcheeks harder.

I am at the door to the third floor, there are a couple of radio signals that could be heading towards the stairs so I need to hurry.



"Come on you stupid machine. Urgh, my hands are shaking and my mind is racing, neither is conducive to punching in a code on a small touchscreen keypad."



"Shit, shit, shit, come on. Fuck! That guy on the ground floor is definitely heading towards the stairs."







"Oh my God, for a split second I was sharing the stairwell with someone else, if they had immediately looked up they would have seen my dripping pussy diving through the door. I want to masturbate so bad right now but I need to persevere. The door to the security room is ahead and... god fucking dammit. The 1G652 says there is someone currently in the security room, and there is someone about to turn that corner.



"I just jumped into the men's toilets and am now hiding in a cubicle. What if the person coming down the corridor is coming to use the toilet. What if they find me, they could destroy my life, or they could extract a high price for their silence. They could make me..."



"No, I won't masturbate now. I'm in the middle of an experiment God damn it. I'll take care of all my desires once I am in the security room... which still has someone in it. I'm so desperately horny I... ehem... This is going to throw the timings right off, unless..."